In a moment I’ll be going offline for a day and a half. My carpets and lino are scheduled to be ripped up and replaced with cork tiles tomorrow, and in preparation I’m packing my possessions away either in the bathroom or on the kitchen benches. I’ll shortly unplug the computer and store it on the kitchen benches too. This isn’t merely generosity on my part; if I let the workers move my stuff around, they’ll put things back wrong.
Now, here’s a funny story.
Yesterday morning I awoke to discover a bird in my house, trying to fly out through the kitchen window glass. The only explanation I had — however unlikely — was that it must have flown in the evening before (when the door was very briefly open) and been trapped inside all night. I got it out, but a little later it was back again. In my house. With even that implausible explanation ruled out. This morning I chased it out at least three times, and cleaned various messes off the sink, basin, benchtop and floor.
Later today I just happened to glance up at the plastic grate covering my bathroom’s ceiling fan (which has not worked for some time, incidentally) and noticed it was bent, part of its edge slightly pulled away from the ceiling. This had certainly not been the case before, and the discovery was both good news and bad news. Good news because the mystery was solved — clearly the bird has a nest in the ceiling, and being attracted by indoor lights, managed to push the plastic grate away from the ceiling just enough to get in. Bad news because right now the bathroom contains piles of desk drawers and clean clothes, and a bird could really cause some mischief in there. (It could cause even more mischief in the kitchen, which contains ornaments and books among other things — and because the kitchen gets the most outdoor light, it’s where a bird is most likely to go in trying to escape. So in short, the two rooms I definitely don’t want a bird in right now are the two rooms where it’s most likely to be, depending on whether it’s just got in or is trying to get out. Not good.)
I dealt with the problem by taping up the bathroom ceiling fan with masking tape. I hope that works. Masking tape isn’t all that strong if the bird is determined, but it should slow it down.
Renovation photographs coming soon.
The Outer Hoard 
8 Oct 2008 at 1:02 am
Electrician’s/gaffer’s tape is probably your friend here, and it doesn’t leave goo behind when you remove it.
8 Oct 2008 at 10:27 pm
A bird forcing its way through a narrow gap? Struggling hard to picture that, I have to confess. A bird falling down an open chimney – now that is something I can attest to happening. Anyway, well done on the blog.
9 Oct 2008 at 12:25 pm
I’m back online now. Cork tiles look great, and I’ll extrapolate on that when I can. As for the bird, I think what drove it through the narrow gap was an instinct to head for light when it wants to go outside.
I’ve cleaned up more of its poo, by the way. It did poo on some of the things I’d stored in the kitchen, but fortunately only on things with hard surfaces that are easy to clean. Including (I’m mentioning this for the geeks) a copy of an old university textbook about Unix. As for near misses, it pooed on several things I’d stored on the kitchen windowsill, but fortunately not on Hamrose (who was stored there too). Phew!